There are some fast turkeys in Redding. I signed up for the 6 Mile Turkey Trot in my hometown thinking I might be able to hang with some of the frontrunners-- I mean, hey, I didn't do too shabby in my last race (the Silverstrand 5K). I got 3rd in my age group afterall. So, I figured a small town turkey trot? Sure. Nothin' to it. I can probably place in the top 20. That t-shirt is as good as mine.Learned a new lesson about myself and running: Never stop being insecure. Odd little lesson, but hear me out. It's the same lesson you probably learned in high school: There's always going to be someone (or 40-something people) better than you--no matter how good you think you are or are getting. For example, a friend of mine from high school passed me during the race. She was someone who I figured (with all the training I've been doing lately) I would beat (easily), yet she beat me by about 3 minutes. Blerg. Pride took a tumble.
The other lesson I learned--or actually was reminded of by my husband after I sulked for a couple days--was: Run your own race. It only causes more stress and pressure to compare yourself to others, so don't. Compare yourself to yourself and you'll never lose. Easier said than done that's for damn sure, but I need this reminder. I've started noticing that as I try to get faster I'm getting more competitive. Seven years ago I chose running as a hobby because I wanted to do something that was solitary, noncompetitive and a stress relief, but lately I've been putting to much pressure on myself to get fast and not focusing on why I chose it in the first place.
Well that pressure is no more. My new goal for the month is to log as many miles as I can in preparation for Marathon Training Kick-Off Day (which will be sometime in the middle of December, I think) and to do those miles at whatever pace feels good-- not at pace that is "fast enough."
I know the pride wounding of which you speak. Years ago I set my 10k PR in a race that started and finished at the edge of my neighborhood. Everyone knew me as "that runner" and I was determined to prove them right. So I ran faster than ever, and finished dead last. It was an incredibly fast field, but I got passed by men and women much older than me. Who cares they were all state record-holders. I took so much razzing from the townsfolk for many months. I hope Redding was kinder.
ReplyDeletethanks for your honesty in this post. wanting to get faster is not a bad thing. Never be ashamed of trying to improve...it is what keeps us motivated. Your husband is right, though. Run your own race, and measure your success against realistic goals. Goals are a great way of measuring progress. I always try to look at running as a journey, not the destination. In other words, if I do well in an event, great. If I don't, well, its not that big a deal because I've gained so much along the way. Keep up the effort, and always remember to enjoy the ride.
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