What they said, what I said, and what I wish I'd said (Second Edition)

Tuesday morning I opened my email at 7:30 AM and this was the first message I read.

(Please note: All names, phone numbers and email addresses have been changed to protect the identity of the sender. All spelling and grammar issues have been transcribed as they appeared in the email.)

>>> "Ignorant Parent" 11/10/09 7:25 AM >>>

-Hi, i have a few concerns that i need to seak to you about. Like why [my kid] is getting dention for something he did weeks ago and for sayins dang it which other studnets in the class heard him say. So if you could please contact me that would be great.

Ignorant Parent
555-5555
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After a few deep breaths, I very patiently (though with shaking hands) responded with this.......

Hello Ms. Parent,
I was just about to email you, thank you for contacting me. [Your kid] is getting a detention because yesterday he said, "Damn it" to me when I took the posted grades down. He ran across the room to try and see the grades before I could take them down--which endangered himself and others. He nearly ran into me when he said, "Damn it." I heard him very clearly without question; later he backtracked trying to say he said, "Dang it."

On Friday (not weeks ago) he came into the classroom and scribbled all over the front board while I was standing right outside the classroom door watching students as they entered the room. I had a picture (that took me quite a while to do) drawn on the board to demonstrate a scene from "The Pearl" and he ruined it with his scribblings. I told him he would receive a detention for it on Friday. So...instead of writing him TWO detentions, I just combined the two offenses yesterday. I hope that clears the situation up for you. If you have any more questions feel free to call or email me.

Me
888-8888
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And now, what I wish I could have said...

Dear Ignorant Parent,

Are you freaking kidding me? You really think that I'm so stupid as to write a detention yesterday for "something" that happened "weeks ago?" Really? Really?! And do you really think I would write a detention for a kid saying "dang it?" Really?! Come on. We both know your kid is a spaz who can't control his mouth or his body. Didn't you tell me about a month ago when I called you about his obnoxious, inappropriate, completely frustrating classroom behavior that you had an appointment with his doctor to get his ADHD meds adjusted? Whatever happened with that? I've seen no change, and frankly it's a miracle I haven't written your kid three referrals and had his ass kicked out by now for all the time he's sucked away in that class. So you better back up off my shiz before I tell you how I really feel about it.

Me.
P.S. Proofread your emails for crying out loud!

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Ahhh... that is the best form of therapy.
The 6 miler today helped a bit too!