So Typical

Ever had an unexpected moment of understanding? I mean, it literally never crossed your mind that you weren't understanding a situation until suddenly you do understand it?

Today. Seventh Period. English. My little freshmen and I are reading "The Scarlet Ibis" together and I, every once in a while, hear a boy near me sporadically grunting. It sounds as if he is trying to quietly read out loud to himself along with the CD recording. He appeared to be concentrating so hard on the text that I (for once in my life thank God!) didn't tell him to keep his grunting down. I mean hey, if it helps his reading comprehension to say some of the words to himself, and he's not disrupting anyone, then I'm all all for it.

But as the story continues, I notice that he's also twitching, awkwardly drumming his knuckles on the desk, and squeezing his eyes closed as if they hurt him. This forces me to go into my "I-wish-I'd-followed-my-dream-to-become-a-private-detective" mode and survey the situation a little more closely. Something is up with this kid and the other kids seem to be in on it.

This boy, we'll call him Twitchy, is a very soft spoken student. He does his work adequately and is never a behavior problem; however, I'm beginning to realize that I have heard these groans, these grunts, these grunty-groany-twitchings, coming from this kid before; except, I always figured it was the culmination of various teenage noises from around the room. In case you don't know this about freshmen: they're 13-14 years old, can't sit still to save their life and have even less success keeping their mouths closed for more than 20 seconds. (No joke, I've timed them.)

So as I am conducting my covert surveillance of Twitchy, I simultaneously stop the CD to discuss a point of symbolism in the story. While I ask questions and the students share answers, I see Twitchy's eyes roll sideways and his tongue move in and out of his mouth at near supersonic speed. I realize, Holy Shit This Kid's Got Tourette's Syndrome.

My brain froze. Somewhere out in the classroom a student answered my question and all were waiting for my response, but my sudden understanding has rendered me utterly brain-dead-speechless. In my mind I'm flashing through all the times I've given instructions to the class and without realizing who was making the noise said, "Ok, whoever is mumbling and grunting while I'm giving instructions needs to shut it and listen to my instructions," or the time I said, "Hey guys, hi. I'm your teacher...remember me? You need to stop all your fidgeting and focus on what I'm saying because I say important things up here sometimes." And I'm sure I've made more comments that in some indirect way were directed directly at him!

I am instantly humiliated, humbled and saddened by this realization. An by the realization that the kids immediately surrounding him know of his condition. I can see on their little faces that they are concentrating really hard in order to avoid looking at him. So, in the midst of this mind-blowing realization, I think I said something like, "Uh...good answer. Ok. Ummmm. Let's hit the play button again...."

My thoughts a few hours later are only this: Why has NO ONE, no counselor, no advocate, no parent, no noone, told me about Twitchy's tourette's? And don't ask me if I think he was faking. I know bullshit better than a shit farmer...I teach high school (and I was raised on a cattle ranch...loads of shit). Plus, in case you missed it, I want to be a Private Investigator: It's in my nature to assume everyone is a liar.

But I don't have the answer to that aforementioned question so...

I guess for now I'll just hit the play button on my Plyometrics Workout Video* and work on my fast twitch muscles...just like my new favorite student, Twitchy.

*For more info about Plyometrics and why I do them, go here: "Plyometrics." Warning: Do not do plyometrics everyday. Once a week at most.